A comic was doing his improv standup routine, and Robert Pattinson was there, going unnoticed because of his new haircut, when all of a sudden, the comic says, "Here's my impression of Heath Ledger."
The comic then fell to the ground and started convulsing. As you might remember, Heath Ledger died of an accidental overdose in January 2008. Well, Robert Pattinson and his buddy weren't too happy with the joke and started yelling, "F*** you, you suck."
Now I'm not gaga over Robert Pattinson but I have to admit that it was very cool of him to do that. Robert Pattinson just garnered some of my respect, even though he's still pasty.
It's bad enough that Dane Cook had to hire his lackey brother, Darryl McCauley, on as an employee since he likely couldn't get work to save his life, but now it seems that Dane Cook's brother, Darryl McCauley, decided that he was more deserving of $3 million of Dane Cook's hard earned money.
Charged with 3 counts of larceny and forgery, Darryl McCauley was arrested for forging a $3 million check. What a doof!
So now Dane Cook, who has learned a valuable lesson about hiring lackey brothers as managers, will be drowning his sorrows in lots of champagne this New Year.
I always thought that Paris Hilton had genital herpes, and perhaps she does, but now we know for certain that she has oral herpes. Even though Paris Hilton tried to cover it up with some glossy lipstick and wore a breast-baring dress to shift everyone's eyes, we all took note of her nasty cold sore.
Paris Hilton and her herpes have a whole lot in common; they both pop up whenever they feel like it and are incredibly annoying when they do.
I don't know about most women, but I would never want my man to take me to a basketball game and propose on the court in front of hundreds of people. Not only that, but when a man is about to propose, he needs to be sure that the woman he's asking is madly in love with him.
Because, if said woman is not mad about him, and he proposes in front of hundreds of people, he might get rejected. Exhibit A is below.
Perhaps this video is bullcrap and it was all an act, but it might help some guys reconsider proposals that call for hundreds of people to witness it. Do you agree?
Back by popular demand, Montreal singer Ashley King has yet another single she wants to share with her fans. This song is called "Bless You" and comes with the same hypnotic beat and lyrics that I've been spoiling you with thus far.
If you're interested in seeing Ashley King live in concert, she will be performing at Club TNT in Montreal on January 28, 2009. For more information, click here.
Vida Guerra was discovered when she posed for an article in FHM magazine and men worldwide wanted to know who the owner of that bubble butt was. Well, we all found out that her name was Vida Guerra, and we haven't been able to get rid of her since.
Granted, her butt is abnormally rounder than most, but really, Vida Guerra isn't that big a deal otherwise. However, most men would tend to disagree with me, because they all get to see the wonderfully airbrushed images that grace the glossy men's mags. But I know better.
Yes, my friends, Vida Guerra is plagued with cellulite from the top of her butt to the back of her knees. Regardless of the fact, she's still making a mint off that butt of hers.
If Tom Cruise gets his way, Katie Holmes will need to rest up because he has 10 children in mind for the future. Tom Cruise already has 3 so Katie Holmes only needs to pop out 7 more and his life will be complete.
I'm not really sure how Katie Holmes will feel upon discovering that Tom Cruise told The Sun that he would love to have 10 children. I'm guessing he wants to give Brad Pitt and the crew a run for their money.
Let's wait and see what Katie Holmes has to say about Tom Cruise's latest comment. Then again, I think he has forbade her from talking to the press.
Lindsay Lohan's father Michael Lohan is quite pissed off because she told TMZ "look at him" when asked about his comments regarding her girlfriend Samantha Ronson. And now, it seems, Michael Lohan has launched his own site to give off a few rants of his own.
Michael Lohan reveals a few things that I'm certain Lindsay Lohan and Samantha Ronson don't want anyone to know. But lo and behold, anger seems to bring out the worst in Michael Lohan. Hell, it brings out the worst in the whole Lohan crew.
Michael Lohan writes:
Today, on TMZ, my darling daughter Lindsay was asked for a comment in response to me saying, "Samantha is on drugs!" Lindsay’s only response was, “look at him!”
WOW! Linds, how forthright! Let me ask you; was it me who was actually pictured in the train station with a bag full of prescription drugs? Do you see me out partying with Lindsay, my other children or having raging wars with her? Was it me who jumped out of a DJ booth and punched Lindsay when she was with Calum Best? Did I drive Lindsay around for hours in LA until she fell asleep and before I ran low on gas only to call the paps and sell pictures to them? Uh uh!
If you want to read up on all the other wonderful things Michael Lohan had to say, head on over to MikeLohanOnline.com
Jennifer Aniston's Marley & Me kicked Brad Pitt's Curious Case of Benjamin Button ass over the Christmas holidays as Jennifer Aniston's movie came in fist place with $14.6 million.
Brad Pitt's film came in second with $11.8 million and Adam Sandler came in third with Bedtime Stories raking in $10.5 million.
Overall it was a good weekend, and I believe that Brad Pitt's movie will have longevity over Jennifer Aniston's, but at the end of the day, she came in first place and I'm sure that makes her incredibly happy. Who can blame her? She's lost to Brad Pitt in every other way, the least karma could do is give her the box office for one weekend.
Well, Gisele Bundchen is finally getting Tom Brady to take her down the aisle; the two got engaged over the holidays.
I'm sure Gisele Bundchen is just elated at the thought of getting married, especially considering she just couldn't get Leo DiCaprio to do it.
So stay tuned for a great wedding between Gisele Bundchen and Tom Brady; I'm sure it's going to be lavish and very expensive, and Gisele Bundchen will have all the designers scrambling to get her to wear their dresses.
Suri Cruise is more popular than her parents Tom Cruiseand Katie Holmesand has the fan mail to prove it. Suri Cruise is probably one of the most beautiful and most photographed celebrity babies on the planet and it seems that all that press is working in her favor. She receives over 100 fan letters a day.
Suri Cruise is also a swag target - designers send Suri Cruise all their wares in the hopes that she'll wear them out in public. Anything she wears becomes an instant top seller.
If Suri Cruise continues to get cuter and cuter, she might even become more popular than Shiloh Pitt. Oh, dare I say it?
Suri Cruise really is adorable in all the pictures I see of her and it seems that fans from around the world want to let her know that they think so too. Unfortunately, she still can't read.
Beyonce wants to be clear that a "Diva" is a female version of a hustler. And boy is Beyonce working on her new album as Sasha Fierce. So that's where those ugly glasses came into play; Beyonce wears them in her "Diva" video.
I have to admit that Beyonce is the kind of woman you just can't your eyes off of. She has her "Sasha Fierce" persona down pat.
Add to all that some black and white choreography, and Beyonce has herself the makings of a killer video that will get plenty of airplay on the Net. I say the Net because there simply are no music channels that play any music videos anymore. Go Beyonce.
A George W. Bush insider, Michael Connell was directly implicated in the 2000 and 2004 rigging of the election in which George W. Bush won. Michael Connell was ready to tell all to the media. And we're talking brutal honesty.
Of course, Michael Connell was afraid that George W. Bush and Dick Cheney would "throw him under a bus" before he could do it, and wouldn't you know it... Michael Connell was killed on December 21, 2008, when his single engine plane crashed three miles short of the Akron airport.
Some might say it's a complete fluke, but wow, what are the chances that the Bush IT expert who planned on telling all suddenly meets his end? Hmm, looks like George W. Bush gots some 'splainin' to do.
Well, he did it. Robert Pattinson got rid of his greasy, unkempt hair finally, to what could be the dismay of all his crazed fans.
If you ask me, I think Robert Pattinson looks 100 times better with a buzzcut. He's not an ugly guy and the haircut brings out Robert Pattinson's many features. I think Robert Pattinson knew what he was doing and he's hoping to drop all the tweens and pick up some older meat.
SO what do you think of Robert Pattinson's look? Hot or not with the haircut?
Madonna's latest flavor of the week is Jesus Luz, a Brazilian model who worked on a shoot with Madonna for W magazine. I guess Madonna is giving Kabbalah a break and getting back into Jesus... Jesus Luz, baby!
You gotta admit that Jesus Luz is some piece of work and looks young enough to be Madonna's grandson, but hey, Madonna can probably drive even Jesus Luz to fatigue.
So enjoy a shirtless Jesus Luz for now (complete with pubes). I'll try to get my hands (among other things) on some more pics soon.
I'm not sure if Britney Spears is dating Benji Madden because she wants to pis off Paris Hilton or because he's controlling enough to ensure that she doesn't shave her head and try to kill some paparazzi with an umbrella.
Nevertheless, Britney Spears has been "secretly" dating Benji Madden to everyone's shock and awe, and it seems her father is quite smitten with the young man. Apparently, it was Britney Spears' people who went out and recruited Benji Madden as a date and the two hit it off.
So whaddya think? Are Benji Madden an d Britney Spears a good fit? Will Paris Hilton have smoke coming out of her ears? Will Britney Spears get herpes?
Some might think that a picture of a college-going Barack Obama smoking weed (if that is what he's doing) would hurt him, but in this day and age, anyone who smokes weed is "super cool." And Barack Obama is no different. Hell, look how popular Bill Clinton became after he admitted that he "didn't inhale."
Barack Obama could've been sniffing cocaine off the backsides of male prostitutes and the public would still manage to spin it into a positive. "Man, he wants to help Colombia AND he's all for gay rights. Yes, we, can!"
Barack Obama looks pretty cool in this picture, rocking his afro and all. And the fact that he's holding a smoke like it's a big ol' joint only makes him as normal as anyone who has ever attended college. Yes, weed, can!
Rumors are flying that Jennifer Lopez is about to give Marc Anthony his walking papers and will file for divorce very soon. Why? Well, she already got what she wanted: two babies. And you have to admit that ever since Jennifer Lopez has been with Marc Anthony, her career has been consistently greeting the crapper.
And of course, we all know that when the going gets tough, the celebrities call in their PR people to take care of everything, and Jennifer Lopez is no different. This will make divorce number 3 for Jennifer Lopez.. and counting.
Jennifer Lopez was spotted at a movie premiere without her wedding ring on, and you know she didn't just "forget it." When a celebrity doesn't wear their wedding ring, it is a calculated move, so yeah, Jennifer Lopez is hoping that this divorce will revive what's left of her career.
Lately, Alex Rodriguez is getting a whole lot of press, thanks to his horizontal mambos with Madonna, but it's no mystery why Madonna really enjoys Alex Rodriguez's company: the guy has a pretty great body.
After seeing shots of a shirtless Alex Rodriguez, I have a whole new respect for him and his magnificent body. I still don't think his face is that of perfection, but Alex Rodriguez has a body that could easily make any woman swoon.
So enjoy yourself and take a moment to appreciate Alex Rodriguez in all his shirtless glory.
Christmas is just around the corner and, instead of the usual drab Christmas music we've all become numb to, here are 10 Christmas songs that will have you tapping your feet and get you in the mood for the holidays.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #10 Ashanti & Beyonce - Silent Night
Okay, so perhaps it sounds like Ashanti and Beyonce are trying to outdo each other on this rendition of "Silent Night," but you have to admit that it sounds a whole lot better than what we’re used to hearing. A little R&B thrown into Christmas music never hurt anybody.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #9 Diana Krall - White Christmas
Diana Krall has one of the sweetest, sultriest voices around. And although she made a name for herself by biting all the songs of other people, she really does have that je ne sais quoi about her. And she gives "White Christmas" her signature touch and it is definitely easy on the ears.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #8 Dido - Christmas
Dido is one of those women with a milky, beautiful voice and her music is timeless and seemingly effortless. This is a beautiful Christmas song that you could listen to while you’re putting up decorations, having supper, or even making love. The spirit will be in you,
Top 10 Christmas Songs #7 U2 - It’s Christmas
U2 is classic and no matter what they’re singing, we all want to hear it. So when U2 released this Christmas single, we were all happy to discover that we weren’t relegated to listening to all of that old school music that the malls are constantly bombarding us with. “It’s Christmas” is a Christmas mainstay but U2 manages to give it a great upgrade.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #6 Anna Liani - Silent Night
French artist Anna Liani gives her version of “Silent Night” and her accent in the song makes it that much more interesting and original. Once you hear this single, your night will be anything but silent. In fact, it may turn into one of your best nights ever.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #5 Jason Mraz - Winter Wonderland
Jason Mraz has a voice that makes me feel like skipping, so when I heard his version of “Winter Wonderland,” I knew that it was worthy of this Top 10 list. So sit back, chill out and take a good listen to Jason.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #4 Bon Jovi - Please Come Home for Christmas
There’s something about this bluesy Bon Jovi song that makes me want to fall in love on Christmas. It’s incredibly sexy and has a flavor that is about more than just Christmas.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #3 Ashley King - Little Drummer Boy
Ashley King’s version of “Little Drummer Boy” is just awesome, if I could be so blunt. This song barely sounds like the Christmas music we’re used to. But when you find yourself bopping your head to Christmas music, you know that the artist is a freakin’ genius.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #2 Coldplay – Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
There’s just something about Chris Martin’s voice that makes you want to lay down and reflect on life. Throw in some lyrics about Christmas and there’s a good chance that you’ll want to hug and kiss everyone you know after listening to one of Coldplay’s songs.
Top 10 Christmas Songs #1 Ashley King - Christmas Song
Ashley King is new to the music scene but she nailed the Christmas music genre by coming up with a very inventive version of the “Christmas Song.” This song makes shopping for Christmas gifts and dealing with the in-laws that much easier.
Tom Cruise was on David Letterman on December 16, 2008, and he came on with his own Top 10 list of the craziest things that are said about him on the internet, and believe me, Tom Cruise has comedy chops yet.
Tom Cruise lists off on his Top 10 list and, although he cracks a laugh every now and then, he manages to make the audience holler with laughter, rather than the usual pity applause David Letterman usually gets when he lists off his own Top 10s.
Tom Cruise has been doing the publicity circuit for Valkyrie and I think he has managed to salvage his reputation and is seemingly normal again. He stopped preaching about Scientology and is able to laugh at himself. Now, I'm jusr waiting for Tom Cruise to appear on Saturday Night Live making fun of his religion - now that would be awesome.
Here is the latest single from Justin Timberlake and T.I. called "If I." I really love Justin Timberlake's voice when he hits those high notes; T.I.'s part in the song isn't exactly thrilling.
You might remember T.I. from his last collaboration with Justin Timberlake on his song "My Love." That was a great song; much better than this one, but Justin Timberlake can make any song sound great.
So take a listen to "If I" and let me know what you think. And remember, this song is for the girls who dance sexy, but never show too much.
Jamie Foxx is out promoting his new album and ended up dissingTerrence Howard all kinds. First Jamie Foxx mentioned that Terence Howard dissed his album while promoting his own, then he went on to imitate him and said that Terrence Howard plays the same character in every movie. Ouch!
Then Jamie Foxx said that Terrence Howard is, in fact, talented, but then he continued to make fun of him, mentioning the time the two starred together in Ray. Terrence Howard is going to be hella pissed when he gets wind of this, but then again, perhaps this will help both Jamie Foxx and Terrence Howard sell more albums.
Britney Spears was a guest on Ellen DeGeneres and the two decided to go Christmas caroling to get neighbors into the Christmas spirit. What I found bizarre was the first woman they spoke to; she didn't seem to know neither Britney Spears nor Ellen DeGeneres.
But Ellen DeGeneres is hilarious and Britney Spears seems to have a pretty great sense of humor too. As Ellen DeGeneres and Britney Spears go caroling, they become funnier and funnier.
Britney Spears seems to be following Ellen DeGeneres' ad libbing lead during the whole caroling scene and I have to admit, I literally watched the entire video. And I bet you will, too... open the door, it's Britney, bitch.
It has come to certain people's attention that perhaps Justin Gaston's intentions in dating Miley Cyrus are not very honorable; in fact, many are beginning to believe that he may just be using her to become famous in his own right. Um, to sum all this up in a word: duh.
I mean, look at the man, he looks like a younger version of Olivier Martinez. The man is just gorgeous and way better looking than Miley Cyrus. As well, he seems more Manhattan penthouse and she's more, well, let's just say country.
At the end of the day, it's not hard to believe that Miley Cyrus is being used to further Justin Gaston's career. In fact, it would be unbelievable if he wasn't using her. And she's probably going to have to get used to it as well, because there aren't many men who have never heard of her.
I have no idea what's going on with Gerard Butler, but I think his alcoholism has given him beer goggles like never before. It seems that Gerard Butler is actually giving it to Paris Hilton, and I'm pretty sure that Paris Hilton is going to give him a gift of her own: Herpes Simplex 1.
The two were at Bar Deluxe in Los Angeles and, as hard as they were trying to keep things on the down low, Paris Hilton and Gerard Butler simply could not keep their hands off each other. Na-ah-ah-ah-ah-stee.
The worst part is that Paris Hilton's nickname for Gerard Butler is Braveheart, which, yes, further cements her place as the village idiot.
Madonna took a pretty good fall during one of her concerts and then decided to do what Madonna always does to save face: she made out with one of her female dancers.
But that still didn't save Madonna from making it onto the blog circuit; we all know that Madonna took a wipeout and we feel the need to make sure that she knows that we know.
Nevertheless, Madonna has done so much yoga over the years, that there's no chance that she broke a hip - oh no, no osteoporosis for Madonna. Forward to about the 40 second mark to get a good look at the fall.
Lily Allenisn't exactly the model of grace and etiquette, but she does a really great cover of Britney Spears' "Womanizer" and she manages to class it up, if that's even possible. Lily Allen is well known for being a drunk and somewhat of a loser, but hey, at least she didn't show off her crotch for a month straight. The cover of "Womanizer" may have come a little early; after all, "Womanizer" is still hot on the charts, but I guess Lily Allen's plan is to strike while the iron is hot.
What would make this cover of "Womanizer" even better is if Lily Allen ended up sleeping with Kevin Federline, which would lead to a nice hair-pulling session between her and Britney Spears.
One of the most hilarious videos I've seen in a while, George W. Bush paid a surprise visit to Iraq and, while amid reporters, one Iraqi reporter hurled both his shoes at George W. Bush in a mad rush. One right after the other.
Unfortunately, George W. Bush was quick to react and dodged both shoes. In an interview given right after the incident, George W. Bush, in all his genius, told reporters, "I'm okay, it doesn’t bother me. So what if he threw a shoe at me. All I can report is it is a size 10."
Come on... that's even funnier than the video itself. I swear, you couldn't make this stuff up.
It seems Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin's marriage is in deep trouble and they're about to get divorced.
What a coincidence that Gwyneth Paltrow's best friend Madonna is divorced from Guy Ritchie and now, suddenly, Gwyneth Paltrow is about to give Chris Martin the old heave ho.
It's a shame to hear that because they have children together and now it looks like Apple and Moses are going to have to live a life without their father and be raised by nannies while their mom hangs out with Madonna and the two just hate on men.
Gwyneth Paltrow needs to leave Madonna's side and get back to her marriage and make things work. No one said it was going to be easy, but all these chicks show their men the door the minute it looks like the road ahead might be a little tough.
John Mayer has some advice for bloggers, and I have to admit, he really struck a chord with me. John Mayer points to Don Rickles, who has a way with words and manages to offend and appease all at the same time, and says that we all need to be more like him.
I do kind of feel for John Mayer simply because, well, before he began dating Jennifer Aniston, he was pretty irrelevant, besides the "We Hate John Mayer" fan club started by Maxim magazine.
Now, his every move is being watched and he gets blasted by the media every time he breathes and that must definitely be a tough pill to swallow.
I know, I know, you don't feel bad for him because he's rich, famous and goes to bed with Jennifer Aniston on a nightly basis. Nevertheless, I don't think anyone is ever prepared for the backlash that comes with fame. After all, we do build them up just to knock them down. And now, John Mayer knows that first hand.
Here's what he had to say:
There’s no doubt that at their most irreverent (and yes, mean), gossip blogs can be truly funny. After all, as Rickles has shown the world for years, there’s infinitely more material to be mined in the delicious details of the detested than there are in the lauded. Five words for good, five thousand for bad.
But there’s one element that has always gone missing in the new era of dissery, and perhaps it’s the most important part of the game. It’s what’s given Rickles the room to move with almost diplomatic immunity through cultural stereotypes and sensitivities: that effusive smile, the “not really”, and most importantly, the implicit “me too.” It’s what has given Rickles both his edge and his charm for over five decades, and its absence in today’s gossip media is what will soon lead to a population tired of it.
At Rickles’ recent performance at Foxwoods Casino in Connecticut, he made Perez Hilton look like a sycophant. Nobody — and I mean nobody — has what it takes to point out a morbidly obese man in the front row and call him out on it in song. (The man laughed hysterically.) After ribbing two men on stage, making fun of both them and their wives, he had handlers walk bottles of champagne to their seats, thanking them for playing along and suggesting they enjoy the bottles in their hotel rooms while making love. It doesn’t make the bite any less sharp, but it invites people to return to the lion’s cage.
If, in the blogosphere, there is any semblance to Rickles’ style of dressing the very wound he’s inflicted, it seems only to come posthumously; if you’re a celebrity and you want to sniff out who actually wishes you’d get killed by a grizzly bear flying a helicopter and who was only joking about it and had no idea it would actually happen, swear to God, you have to die to find that out. I appreciate kind thoughts in the wake of my passing, but they’d go to better use while I can still hear them. Or is that too much kindness for one person to be allowed?
Wouldn’t it be nice, every once in a while, to read some sort of evidence of heart? An occasional ‘We kid, the guy’s okay??’ Unless you really don’t, in which case you won’t be sorry when that bear shoots me with a rocket launcher. Mark my words: the gossip-monger whose style closest resembles that of Don Rickles’ mastery of tension and release will stay successful the longest. Because the salient rules of entertainment will always apply. And Don Rickles should know, because he helped write them.
Katie Holmes was starting to look very beautiful or a while there, but she's now starting to look like a very tall boy. But that's not what her flaw is; her flaw is that she has a case of herpes going on around her mouth. Ouch!
I remember in 2005, Katie Holmes had a pretty nasty cold sore outbreak and this isn't nearly as bad, but it's pretty nasty nonetheless.
Katie Holmes is probably happy about the outbreak because it means she doesn't have to kiss Tom Cruise for a while. Which also begs the question: Is Katie Holmes allowed to use Abreva? Hmm...
Jennifer Aniston is naked on the cover of GQ and, of course, she continues to discuss Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie, John Mayer, and pregnancy - and the two former subjects are really what help to keep Jennifer Aniston relevant.
Anyway, Jennifer Aniston tells GQ that she and Angelina Jolie do not speak; like that question really needed to be asked. And she also refers to John Mayer saying that he's very special to her.
What really gets me is that Jennifer Aniston seems to be getting prettier and sexier with time. I guess all that sex she's having with John Mayer is paying off.
This is the mother of all winter coats, or perhaps her hotter, younger sister. It is one of the most beautiful winter coats I have ever seen and I'm sure you'll agree that this winter coat would make any woman feel sexy from head to toe.
With beige recycled fur trim and 100% cashmere, this coat is your answer to the ultimate in luxury. With a slim silhouette, it hugs the body in all the right places and easily gives winter the finger with the warmth and comfort it provides. Timelessly elegant.
Boldness is usually not a trait that women brag about, and some women even think of boldness as a negative character trait. But I’m here to tell you that when you’re old and grey, you will not regret the things you did do, but rather the things you didn’t do. So here’s your chance to stand out in a crowd and make sure that at least a select few people remember you for years to come.
Bold moves to make #1 Ask a guy out Every woman has that one guy in her life that she’s either interested in or wonders about. Well, rather than continue to walk by coyly and hope that he eventually takes notice of your subtle flirty ways and makes a move, why don’t you throw caution to the wind and flirt with him before you ask him for his number? Not only will you be taking the pressure of his risking rejection away, you’ll also impress him with your bold and impulsive attitude.
Bold moves to make #2 Tell a friend the truth Whether you have a friend who is in sheer denial or you’ve always wanted to reveal the truth about something to her, now is your chance to be open and honest about the way things really are. Of course, telling a friend that she’s lying to herself may not make you very popular, but I’ve learned that people can’t stay mad at the truth for very long. If you reveal your secret; however, your friend may need a while to recoup. In the end, it’s all worth it - you’ll lose 10 easy pounds of excess mental weight.
Bold moves to make #3 Ask for a promotion You’ve been working hard and staying at work late, and just discovered that there’s a promotion up for grabs in your department. Well, working hard and hoping that someone will take notice is not the right way to go. It’s up to you to get noticed by voicing your strengths, accomplishments and qualities. The worst that can happen is that you don’t get it. The best - you do. It’s worth the risk.
